Being in recovery now and reflecting back on my life, I can clearly see the insanity of it all.
My first experience in a drug and alcohol treatment center was after I had made a commitment to myself that if ever snorted coke again I was going into a treatment center. After a long weekend at our family ranch in Lampasas, Texas, I did.
But I am not sure that I was ever really 'present' during that rehab stay. Having a business back home, left unattended, obviously thinking it wouldn't run without me, apparently very confident in my abilities, or perhaps just a control freak ego maniac!?
Being in rehab at 34 years old (with my ego) I didn't pay attention and I wondered 'What am I doing here!?' Reluctantly, I sat out my 28 days, doing group meetings and participated about like I would in a choir class! Again, Ego! Leaving there I wanted to open a rehab in Lampasas. I had the therapist lined up and some grand plan in mind, only to destroy my dream once again with my first drink! I was immediately right back to the addict thinking and right back to the business that I grew up in.
I had the mentality that I wasn't an alcoholic, that I was a drug addict so it was completely ok to drink. And, as a 'functional alcoholic' this went on for many years. A few years later, as things got further out of control, I began to think about needing another medical detox, I felt that was all I needed, just a little break. For several years I was in and out of a medical detox facility. My counselor at the time was Stan McKnight, I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed each visit with Stan. However, again, being an ego maniac, I insisted on returning home. Stan even offered for me to come and stay with him, regretfully, I never took him up on it. They always pushed me and said that I needed treatment. I refused every time although I frequently went in for IV's to get my electrolytes and energy back to normal. 'They don't have a clue what I have going on! I am way too busy to go to some 30 day treatment!?
No Way, Not Me! Been There, Done That!' To once again relapse to the point of complete physical exhaustion and back to Medical Detox.
Except for this last time.
This time I surrendered to this disease! This time I gave up the battle, to win the war.
Having been back and forth to medical detox so many times, I decided to detox myself, along with the help of my lovely wife and a lady that worked for us. It certainly wasn't as comfortable and safe as the medical detox in Florida, but I didn't have the strength to get on a airplane and fly back to Florida.
I soon realized I couldn't do it alone so I went to a 12-Step meeting in Bay City, Texas, close to where I was living in Matagorda, Texas. I attended those meetings regularly for 4 months. I then made a trip to Houston from there to Puerto Vallarta Mexico, where I'm now living and have began Moffitt Wellness Retreat. I am so grateful to have been a part of many beautiful experiences with my clients. Aiding them through their own personal Journey in Recovery with addictions varying from Alcohol to Morphine. We've put together a team of doctors, therapists, personal trainers, wellness coaches, Yoga instructors, nutrition specialists and recovery coaches. All for people like myself to gain a deeper understanding of this disease. We don't want anyone to leave without a fair chance at staying clean and sober! Then returning them to there loved ones, healthier then they've been in a long time!
Stop the Insanity!